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Recent Posts:     Annihilation Returns to the Shadows      Website Overhaul 3.0 --- A Closing Era -- Countdown to Annihilation     

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Annihilation Returns to the Shadows:

//--4/1/2026--- Apr. 1st    [Game Updates]

At the beginning of this year I launched a bold experiment: publicly posting my daily development progress (*or lack there of) to see if external pressure would aid in my work efficacy. And practically immediately the result was secretly evident, but denied and avoided for far too long. The shocking answer: No...

       What was hoped to be a boon, instantly became just another shackle on top of my already numerous stressors. No longer did development feel safe and quiet and just alone, but rather it became internally threatening and claustrophobic under the weight of external judgement and expectation. A bad day in private was defeating enough: but to be forced daily to either lie and feel burdened, or be honest in admittance and feel further shame—was deeply tiring. The mere gesture of updating this site became its own battle, and a development nightmare all in itself.

       Instead of being fully immersed in solving just the game's problems, my mind was always scattered in divide—trying to decipher whether any given priority or action was a "good approach", the "proper order", or "if things were taking too long". The project quickly became a mounting debt: features rushed or half-implemented just to move forward onto the next Day's To Do.

       The Progress Board demanded rigidity, but actual creativity is far more random and varied. In broken inefficiency I was dragging a wornout brain through the same grooves until slower and slower "completion", when I should have been shifting gears as needed, switching zones, and being artistically "chaotic". And every day I just wished I could be obscure again, to do things truly "my way" once more—to battle development in silent isolation—to just fight this one war I now finally know how to finish.

       But I resisted that urge—sadly to the cost of months—as egotistically it seemed like quitting and even further humiliating, but I think the truer "abandonment" now would be to continue down a course proven to be ineffective, especially now given my most dire financial countdown. And so I face the shame of defeat and embarassment today, rather than fear it daily, in order to best actually avert the real future face of it in looming ruin.

       And so while the Countdown continues, my progress against it will no longer be visible. It will now just be a silent march for me—a secret development—that hopefully soon you will all get to fully play.

       Until then, take care. And I promise I will return with that game...


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Website Overhaul 3.0 --- A Closing Era --- Countdown to Annihilation:

//--12/31/2025--- Dec. 31st    [General]

It's been quite awhile since I last posted here and even longer still from the last major site update. But as you can probably tell by reading this: I have returned...

       And while sadly it's not quite time for an epic reveal just yet, I'm gearing up for there to be one—either that or for my most supreme embarassment. Because you see I've placed myself into a rather life-defining quandary: part by circumstance, part by intention, though all by failure.

       For those fully aware, you'll recognize this as preparations for a rock-bottom rise, but for those completely new: consider this as merely my ultimate gambit and inescapable test of resolve—because in reality there's now no other measure left.
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       Upon quick inspection you'll notice that most of the old site is currently gone and what's left is rather empty. This is intentional, meant in part as a fresh start for the New Year but more so as a narrowing of my focus for the closing road ahead. And as much as it pains me, I won't ever get the chance to continue my Book Series until I've actually completed and released my Indie Game.  [More on that in a moment...]
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       To say I have a wandering eye of interest is an understatement, but what cannot be exaggerated is my continuous failure to change. For the majority of my years I've felt like I've been trapped, left with the task of spending time, rather than living it. And amidst the perpetual battle of personal weakness, old wounds and fears, life regrets and the all too important branches I'll never be able to know—the curse of defeat has always spiraled beyond my rare successes.

       It's been almost five years now since I had experienced that brief period of meteoric investment rise—large enough to change my destiny and free myself from employed holding-pattern. And yet such victory was pathetically short-lived, almost to the point of never truly existing.

       I hadn't expected it, but it's strange knowing your greatest accomplishment in life was all due to luck. And when the original conviction to have invested and purchased in the first place became the betraying belief that prevented detachment and selling: the crippling crash was ruinous—not just financially but mentally.

       Like other parts of life, I haven't quite recovered from it. I'm a slow healer, a dweller—and under the weight of shattered dreams and strained vitality, grew a desperate sense of perfectionism and towering procrastination. The fear of yet another visceral failure was paralyzing, yet through both conscious and unconscious delay, I've managed to push myself onto the threshold of a far worse fate in bankruptcy and inevitable future employment. Like fighting fire with fire, I've insanely pitted the concept of embarassing failure against an even darker version. Now the only remaining move is for a greater me to rise to avert it.

       And so the Countdown to Annihilation begins: for the game or mine...

       While I make no statements of any wider vector, 2025 for me personally was completely terrible. But with it's inglorious end I relinquish my Era of Failure. Necessity has finally come, and now a new consistent George must be. The clock is ticking down to forced release, and while my ambitions would like anything otherwise, I must come to accept the reality that my game will never be able to reach the type of quality I ultimately imagined when first embarking on the project.

       Art-skill alone would take years to sufficiently master, and even then I don't think I would ever be satisfied with the result. Yet decently-proper programming, however, is still a realm technically within my reach—just not in the project's current framework of clutter, diversions, and dead-ends. And so for the good of my sanity and dignity, I must restart fresh in a last stand with greater discipline—one final war against looming oblivion.

       Is that the right call? I don't know; I'm not sure there ever is one. Yet regardless, it's the course of where I'm at—now all that remains is just to follow through with it. And to that end I've created an "accountability" page for my development progress or lack there of. Now you can see in real-time just how much I'm working, succeeding, or falling behind on the project. So place your bets.

       With any luck it might just be as insightful or entertaining for you as it is helpful for me. And while this isn't at all how I had hoped things to be so close to nearing target: to the loyal Steam Wishlisters—currently numbering 110—you now at least have a general idea of the game's secret launch date:  65 days left and counting.

       This time, may it actually be enough...


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